Do you feel like you are waiting? I have felt like that my whole life. I have never been comfortable being comfortable because I always sense change coming.
I am an optimist through and through. This is not a doom and gloom await me complex.
For years, I thought this ever-present anticipation came from childhood experiences. Then, I thought it came from being a believer and knowing none of us have the promise of tomorrow and must, therefore, make the most of today.
It has taken time for me to both realize and admit this, but I have felt like I was wasting time in waiting for my life to be my life. The internal struggle and frustration I have been feeling was seeking not just an outlet but relief from feeling that I wasn’t simply managing and guessing away all my time.
Very recently, I learned that I am ACTUALLY waiting on something else to happen. My mind is not playing tricks on me.
I have been waiting for the time when I will be myself. The reason I feel like my life has not been fully activated is because I lost touch with my original self.
Does that sound silly?
I heard a speaker ask several months ago, “Do you realize you are exactly who you are supposed to be for this time and place in history?”
I would not have answered yes at that time. I would have said that God had allowed certain circumstances in my life to align to make me into who I am supposed to be. I would have also said that my life choices have helped create my reality, thus, there is not a predetermined person here in my place. I would have said I am a work in progress, not yet fully arrived at any destination.
What I am seeking to explain cannot be wrapped up neatly in a few paragraphs. I will be sharing more in coming posts. I am compelled to share my story because I know I am not alone. I know there are others who have been derailed. There are a lot of us, actually.
If you are wondering how in the world I came to these conclusions, I will explain it. You see, I have to. I am compelled to tell you. A life lesson that has become confirmed in my heart is that when we learn and grow, we must share that knowledge with others. We must support each other and point out truth as often as we can in a world that is full of deception.
My fear is that people will read this and think, “Who does she think she is? Tossing out advice like some sort of guru… Has she lost her mind?”
To that inner critic and perhaps real life skeptic, I would answer that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I know I am. Can you say the same? If you knew your time was short, could you honestly say you had found the path that allowed you to operate at your very best? To be exactly who God is calling you to be?
It’s not an accident that you are reading these words right now and considering these things for yourself.
There is an enemy and his desire is to steal your joy, rob you of hope, confuse you, and turn your heart and mind from the Creator. It is a daily battle and we must help each other live in truth.
We are all on this road together. My intention is to provide support and receive support. We need each other.
Until then, consider these words from Phillipians 2:13, “”For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”